Saturday, February 4, 2012

Ten Easy Steps to Get in Shape to Own a Horse

Ten Easy Steps To Get In Shape To Own A Horse:
1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot, don’t pick it up right away, & shout “Get off! Get off!”
2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice “Relaxing into the fall”. Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet.
3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse and write out a $200 check without even looking down.
4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you’re doing. They might as well know now.
5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt, smile as if you are really having fun.
6. Practice your fibbing skills. “See, moving hay bales is fun!” and ” I’m glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you first place!”
7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms paralyzed to the shoulder, and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
8. Borrow the US Army slogan; “Be all that you can be’…(add) bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled.”
9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: “This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience .”
10. Marry Money!

Thanx to Lexie of Junior Rider News Group on Facebook for this great read.

No comments:

Post a Comment